Did I mention we're going to the beach this weekend? Can you tell I'm excited? It's going to be a lovely time, even if it means dealing with my body-image issues around swim wear.
That's fodder for a longer post when I have time to write about it, but suffice it to say that (like a lot of women) I'm less than confident about how I look in a swim suit -- especially after two babies. It's not that I think I look terrible, but there are plenty of things I would change.
One thought that helps me feel better is this photo. It was taken this same weekend beach trip four years ago. I was 35 weeks pregnant with Junius and could no longer wear my wedding bands or fit in a booth at a restaurant (no really, we had to wait until a regular table opened up). People up and down the beach were setting 911 on their phones because I was so huge it looked like I might go into labor at any moment. As it turned out, I stayed pregnant another seven weeks. Makes me tired just thinking about it.
Truthfully, being pregnant in a swim suit was strangely liberating. I love the big, round maternity belly -- it made me feel powerful ("I'm constructing an entire human being -- what are YOU doing?"). Plus it was the only time I didn't feel compelled to suck in my belly. In fact, I wore a bikini at the beach when I was (4 months) pregnant with Pippi and felt nearly exotic.
But given that I'm not pregnant this year, I'm dealing with the body I have. And no matter how many nips and tucks I'd like to take before heading out on the beach, at least I know I'm about 50 pounds lighter now than I was in that picture.