Thursday Sopabox: Character Education

A few years ago, I stopped watching the evening news because it was just too disturbing -- becoming a mom made me nervous enough, but seeing story after story about fires, crashes, abductions and killings put me over the edge.

Now it looks like I'm going to have to stop reading the paper, too. For the past two mornings, I've started my day as a serious grouch because of the headlines about the new Wake County Board of Education.

Today's soapbox post will ignore the actual substance of the decisions made at Tuesday night's board meeting -- you already know how I feel about the diversity policy and the magnet program, and I'm saving the staff development issue for another day. Today I just want to rant talk about the behavior and attitudes at the meeting following the swearing in of the four new members.

These new members campaigned on the notion that the old school board was arrogant and deaf to the concerns of parents and the community. Then, after being sworn in, these same members promptly got drunk from the kool-aid of power, pushed through eight new agenda items on major issues without any notice (or even printed materials) to the other four board members, and elected one of their own as the new board chair and another as vice chair (a leadership change that usually takes place in June of each year).

When questioned about whether they were behaving with the same arrogance that they'd accused the old board of, new board chair Ron Margiotta (the only incumbent who supported the new board members during the campaign) had this to say during the meeting: "Let's show the public we're going to respond to what they've been asking for all this time. That's the opposite of arrogance."

This is the same Ron Margiotta who threatened to cut off public comment during the same meeting when critics lined up to voice their concerns. Um, hello, irony?

To the "ruling majority": I've got news for you people. "The public" is not a homogeneous group. "The public" is not made up only of voters who elected you. "The public" is not all lined up to dismantle the Wake County public schools. "The public" is more than the squeaky wheel. In fact, only about 3 percent of the 570,000 registered voters in Wake County even supported you in this campaign. That's hardly a sweeping mandate for change.

If you're really serious about listening to "the public," that means you have to listen to ALL of it. Even me -- who didn't get to vote for or against you since you don't represent my district and who disagrees with most everything you did on Tuesday night. I know things aren't perfect in our schools -- and I'm happy to share my list of things I'd change if anyone wants to listen -- but I'm not interested in throwing out a healthy baby with the bathwater.

As a parent, I'm trying to teach my children how to behave politely and appropriately as the best way to get what they want. I'm attempting to model for them the way I hope they'll act when things aren't going their way (some days that goes better than others). And in our public schools, a district-wide focus on character education emphasizes such traits as integrity, respect and self-discipline.

If our own school board members can't display these traits, can't behave in a civil and thoughtful manner during a public meeting, how the hell can we expect our students to act appropriately in school? Maybe it's time these new board members had a tutorial on the difference between being a character and acting with character. And while you're at it, throw in a lesson on sunshine laws for good measure.

Disclaimer: I did not attend the meeting Tuesday night. I went to plenty when it was part of my job, so I chose to spend that time with my family instead. I'm writing this post based on what was reported in The News & Observer, so I realize that I'm responding to someone else's view of the event. No need to lecture me on not believing everything in print, unless you were actually there and want to adjust the record.

Photo by Ted Richardson at newsobserver.com, showing three of the four new board members (Debra Goldman, Chris Malone and John Tedesco) during Tuesday's meeting, along with newly elected board chair Ron Margiotta (seated).

Guest Post: There's a Reason They're Smiling

Today we feature a special guest blogger: my husband. May God bless this wonderful man, who fearlessly tackled a most painful chore two nights ago and thus earned the right to rant.

Okay, I confess. I’m a customer service critic. From attitudes and aptitudes to cleanliness and consistency, I want companies to get it right.

Good customer service isn’t that hard….really…unless, you’re Time Warner Cable. They don’t seem to get it. After we discovered that we don’t need or want to pay for 400+ channels (including the home-wrecking channel, the laundry detergent channel or the we-don't-have-a-theme-yet-but-here's-some-bad-programming-anyway channel), I decided to make the call and downgrade our service.

But before I begin, in fairness, I must offer kudos to TWC’s “John” in sales and “Sara” in customer service who were nice, but powerless to do the one thing I wanted. No, that job was reserved for the folks in “retention.”

I’m not exactly sure what they were retaining, but “Jeremy” and “Bridget” had it bad. Jeremy bumbled for 10 minutes looking up my account, couldn’t take a payment and didn’t even try to solve my problem. He passed me to Sara (see kudos above) who could only take a payment and send me back to Bridget for more retaining.

Poor Bridget. Bless her heart, she couldn’t find my account for 20 minutes. She asked for our phone number (which came from TWC and was only ten digits) and couldn’t find it. I gave her my account number (which came from TWC) and she couldn’t find it. I spelled our last name several times and she couldn’t find it. I even tried spelling it louder for her. I gave her my wife’s Verizon cell phone number and then miracle of miracles! It appeared!

I stated what I wanted to do, how much I wanted to pay and why. She said “okay” and over the next 40 minutes dodged any rational discussion about whether or not she could do what I asked. Apparently the "okay" was her way of saying "yeah, right." She proposed meaningless offer after meaningless offer. I debated her logic, berated her company and mandated my request. I was even tempted by a free month of any movie channel. But alas, no.

Then I pulled out the nuclear option. I told her I was ready to cancel all of my services. Right then. Seriously. We could do it. We have more than 30 Sesame Street episodes on our TiVo, plus countless others from Franklin, Bob the Builder and the Biscuit Brothers. And of course, there's always our knight in shining armor -- Netflix!

I restated what I wanted one last time. Finally she said, “Okay, I can do that. I’m sorry, I didn’t know that I could.” There it was -- the magic "okay" and just like that I got what I proposed at the beginning of the call. Total elapsed time: 1 hour 20 minutes. We’ll save $516 over the next year on cable. Not bad for a Pyrrhic victory. I was exhausted when the call ended.

Of course, for every bad experience, there are those good ones. Such as the folks at the N.C. License Plate Agency on Wake Forest Road and the fine folks at the Guilford County Tax Office. That’s right – two government agencies.

The folks I encountered the morning after my TWC-near-death-experience were very nice, smiling and helpful people. They helped me sort out the hanging details of a license plate renewal that fell through the crack of last year’s move. They were patient, polite and personable. I suspect they knew I needed them more than they needed me. But they played along and made me happy about “going legit.” After I paid the back car tax and the renewal fee, I was done. It cost me $257, but I was happy and my faith in humanity was renewed.

Maybe they knew what the TWC folks didn’t. You don’t have to be so brazen about TAKING someone’s money if they’ll gladly GIVE it to you.

Thanks for letting me rant…

If Only They Would Listen to My Wisdom

Following the wild success of my open letter to a tree (and a big thanks to my friends who commented on 30Threads, defending me against "Lance"), I was considering going to an all-open-letter blog format. Then I realized that had already been done -- and I'm not going to try to compete with Sarah Vowell and John Hodgman. But so many little annoying things happened while I was running errands on Monday that I feel compelled to employ the device a few more times, so here goes.

* * *

Dear Woman in the Parking Lot at Bed, Bath & Beyond,

I will try not to judge you and your passenger for parking in a handicapped space, then walking easily into the Party City store. It's entirely possible that, although you are both ambulatory, one or both of you has a less visible illness that makes walking difficult over certain distances. Your passenger's very short hair suggested she may be recovering from treatment, so it's easy to give you the benefit of the doubt.

However, it's harder for me to be sympathetic when you're smoking a cigarette while wearing a cancer survivor t-shirt from Relay for Life. Perhaps you've missed the whole surgeon general thing for the past 40 years, but it seems like now would be a good time to quit with the cancer sticks.

Best wishes for continued health,
C

* * *

Dear Mom of One at Harris Teeter,

Congratulations on having such a well-behaved toddler at the grocery store. And congrats for your new one on the way -- what an exciting time for you!

One of the things you'll learn after you have two children on the outside of you is the critical nature of the double-seated grocery cart. It is difficult to corral two children in the grocery store unless you can buckle them in and keep them entertained (thus protecting all those products on bottom shelves cleverly covered in Pixar characters). That's precisely the beauty of those rocket-ship-race-car carts -- both kids fit and each one gets a steering wheel.

So given that Harris Teeter has a VERY limited number of these carts (like, two) and given that you still only have one child who can actually access said cart, please be considerate and leave them for people with two children. We desperately need them.

Thanks,
C (the mom who was giving you the stink eye while her son pushed one of those customer-in-training carts running into shelves and customers all over the store)

* * *

Dear Woman in the Parking Lot at Harris Teeter,

I'm so glad you were driving slow enough and watching closely enough to see the elderly man backing his land yacht out in front of you. That's a tricky parking lot, so I commend your attention to safety.

I also think you were right to toot your horn to alert him that you were coming, in hopes that he would stop and let you pass before continuing his slow and steady move into traffic.

However, continuously holding your hand on the horn for the duration of his very slow and steady move into traffic when he clearly was not intimidated by (or perhaps could not hear) your honking and when he was posing no great threat to your vehicle or other drivers and when my small children were stuck beside your bleating car waiting for me to unload my groceries into the trunk was truly excessive. Please go home and take a nap (or a valium).

Kindest regards,
C

* * *

Phew. Don't know about you, but I feel so much better now. And I promise to leave the open letter mechanism alone for awhile.

My Most Famous Post

Congratulations to all (seven) of you for reading this blog! You'll be able to say you knew me way back when.

Turns out, I am a totally famous blogger now. Over the weekend, my post on Triangle Mamas got picked up by 30 Threads, a site that highlights Triangle blogs and media.

In case you haven't clicked over to Triangle Mamas in awhile, you should go now and read my open letter to a tree (the post linked as #5 on 30 Threads), as well as posts from other area moms. And I should clarify that I am a) not opposed to trees in general, b) not suggesting they cut down the fully-grown trees that provide a tiny bit of shade at the amphitheater and c) not going to take a preschooler to a show two hours early just to stake out a good spot.

While you read, I'll be sitting at home waiting for all the mommy-blog marketers to start contacting me. Just hope it's someone other than tree removal and landscaping services.