The Story of the Convertible Girl

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Remember me? I'm Your Wife...

What with all the ranting last week, I ran out of days to write about the glorious 27 hours I spent with my husband over Thanksgiving weekend.

That's 27 hours alone. No kids. No parents. No work. No deadlines. Just us. Overnight. For the first time in three years.

Crazy, crazy fun.

We left the kids at home with my parents on Friday morning at 9:30 and returned home the next day around noon. Picasso and Warhol at the Nasher in the morning. Pepper's for lunch. Afternoon nap at The Franklin. Dinner at Mediterranean Deli. Movie at The Varsity. The Franklin's special breakfast in bed. Brunch from Sunrise Biscuit Kitchen. Plus some lovely details in between that I won't write about because my parents and my in-laws read my blog (and it's not that kind of blog anyway).

Did I mention it had been three years?

Oh, and my favorite part about staying at The Franklin? The "do not disturb" button right beside the headboard -- you don't even have to get out of bed to hang the tag on your door.

Could it be more perfect?

Friday's Five: The Wedding

Yesterday, while most eyes (including the sweet groom's) were focused on the beautiful bride featured above, mine were fixed on that adorable little ring-bearer. Our family met the bride when Junius was 5 months old -- she was one of his first regular babysitters and has been an adopted member of our family ever since.

The celebration of marriage was wonderful and beautifully personalized by this special couple -- and of course, my favorite part was seeing how happy they were to be getting married. But here are five other favorite details about the big day:

1. Junius in a tuxedo: Did I mention he was adorable? I'm talking crazy cute. The best was watching him tap dance in his shiny tuxedo shoes during the reception. I'm thinking we could rent him out as a ring-bearer for other weddings to help pay for college later on. He was that sweet.
   
   
2. Kid-friendly event: Not many young couples would purposely invite lots of small children to their wedding. But this event not only allowed the kids, the bride and groom went out of their way to make sure they were included. From fancy corn dogs in the buffet line to dancing the hokey-pokey to a special photo of the bride with all her babysitting charges, it was a great wedding for the little ones.
   
   
3. Musical favor: The bride and groom created a CD for their guests, calling it "a condensed playlist of our lives... so far." With tracks from Avett Brothers, Iron & Wine, The Shins and Wilco, it's not your usual wedding fare -- which is exactly what makes it so fantastic.
   
   
4. Ring-bearer gift: One of the most useful gifts ever, this basket (shown below) came in black with Junius's name embroidered in blue along the side. For the wedding and reception, I loaded it up with coloring books (and those Color Wonder markers that only write on the magic paper), snacks, tissues and pajamas (for the ride home). Stylish and functional -- doesn't get any better than that.
   
   
5. High heels: Okay, so I realize this last one is more about me than the event, but it was kind of a big deal. Despite my general fear of tall shoes, I found some very cute peep toe heels that I could actually walk in. Sadly, I can't find a picture of them online, and the only picture that shows my feet in them is one that Junius took and the awkward angle makes my legs appear chunky and I'm too vain to post it. But trust me that I was walking in heels, and they look good.
   

Congratulations to our friends -- thank you for letting us celebrate with you! May you always love each other and enjoy each other as much as you did on your wedding day.

P.S. Looks like the "Friday" post over the weekend is getting to be a regular event. My apologies... I never have been good at being on time, but at least I'm getting it done.

For My Husband

As I walked down the aisle eight years ago today, arm-in-arm with my parents, my hands were shaking so badly that I thought I might drop my bouquet. It wasn't so much nerves as excitement and emotional overload.

When I got to the front of the church, I took my soon-to-be-husband's hand, kissed him on the mouth and promptly stopped shaking.

After the wedding, I got a lot of teasing about how I was supposed to wait until the end of the ceremony for the big kiss. But it was totally worth it.

We might have surprised a few people with our choice of song for our first dance, too -- although not our next door neighbor, who didn't realize he'd been listening to us practice our shag moves (no, not that kind of shag) every time it played.


Happy anniversary, my love. Only 42 more years until you get to renegotiate the contract.

Definitely Not the Duggars

Four summers ago, we met the T and H families here at the beach. They had come down together from Charlotte, but it was a happy coincidence for us that we were staying next-door to families who each had a one-year-old like us. We bonded over early morning playtime on the beach (why can't these little ones understand the joy of sleeping in on vacation?!) and had so much fun that we made plans to return to the same place same week every year.

Since that first summer, our group has grown from three babies across three families to nine kids and four families (two with three kids each). For my children, it's all the fun of having seven extra cousins without any of the work. For me, it's a joy to have interesting people to talk with and share life with, outside the busy context of our "regular" worlds back home.

One of the topics of conversation this summer has started with the lead-in, "So are you guys done?"

Over the past year, my husband and I seriously considered joining the three-is-the-new-two approach to family planning (I mean really, I have SO many friends with three kids now). In fact, it was a tougher decision than I expected. After growing up in a family of four, I always assumed I would have two kids as well -- but it's such an amazing thing to create a tiny person out of nothing and then watch him or her grow, it's almost addictive. Our children are beautiful, healthy, funny, smart and interesting (if we do say so ourselves), so why wouldn't we want more? Plus, maybe if we had another one, I'd get one who looked even remotely like me (although probably not).

But my response to the question this week has been, "Yep. We're done." Followed immediately by a long-winded explanation of why we made that choice, including a host of reasons like...

• our age (I was already "advanced maternal age" when Pippi was born, which is still several years younger than my husband)
• our cars (which are paid for, but can't hold more than two car seats)
• our energy levels (severely depleted after not sleeping through most nights for the past four years)
• our marriage (which doesn't get nearly the attention it deserves while we try to manage everything else)
• our concerns about a third c-section (which means a longer, more painful postpartum)
• our finances (which are holding on for the moment, but would get thin with more family members requiring food, clothes and college funds)
  

I'm not sure why I can't just answer, "Yes -- our family is complete," and leave it at that. Maybe it's because, ultimately, I'm afraid I can't handle a third -- just not organized enough or patient enough or creative enough to manage any more than the chaos I already have. My tenuous hold on sanity and good parenting might not survive two more little hands pulling me in every direction, accompanying me on every trip to the toilet, making demands on my every waking (and sometimes sleeping) minute. If I'm honest, I think we're done because I'm done.

But then I hold a sweet new baby, sniff that fresh baby head, cuddle those tiny rolls and creases. In that moment, I think maybe just maybe we rushed into the decision to stop, maybe there's another baby in my heart, maybe we really could manage three.

And then that sweet new baby starts to cry or spit up or fuss and I remember how hard and exhausting and lonely those new babies can make me feel. And I'm over it.

Thankfully, our beach friends aren't done yet, so maybe there will be more sweet babies to hold and snuggle and sniff next year -- and then (thank goodness) quietly hand them back to their parents.

Note: If you don't get the title of the post (or if you have suggestions for a 19th "J" name), go here. And if you haven't commented on my post for the contest at Triangle TRACKS yet, Friday is your last chance.

Good Day for a Dad

Although I'm guessing this wasn't his ideal Father's Day, my husband was a great dad today.

I've had a fever and a miserable cold since Friday night and Pippi woke up with the same mess on Saturday, so we haven't been a whole lot of fun. Junius made a nice card (on his sister's behalf) and we let Daddy go for a run this morning. But otherwise, he's been on Dad Duty pretty much all weekend.

When I woke up from a long morning nap (I'd put myself in bed right after I put Pippi down), the house was empty. Turns out that my sweet husband had retrieved Pip after her nap (I never even heard her wake up), dressed both kids (with bloomers on Pippi, no less) and gone to Biscuitville. We sat out on our front porch and ate biscuits together while the kids begged sips of sweet tea from their Daddy.

It wasn't anything fancy, but for me it was a perfect picture of why he's my husband. I always knew he would be a wonderful dad -- not just a father, but a real kiss-the-boo-boos-change-the-diapers-get-down-and-silly-hands-on dad.

My own father was and is a great dad -- and now a great PopPop, too. So I know that my husband might just be the greatest gift I can give my children -- a dad who loves them, a dad that I love, a dad who loves me.

Happy Father's Day!

How Netflix Saved My Marriage

Before we had children, my husband and I watched lots of movies. Sometimes we went to the movie theater for a night out. Other times we'd watch whatever was on Turner Classic Movies, occasionally watching two or three movies back-to-back late into the night. But often, we'd find ourselves at the video store (yes, it was VHS for us back then) trying to agree on a movie to rent.

If we were at VisArt Video (when we lived in Chapel Hill), we usually made it out safely with some interesting foreign or indie film. But if (Lord, help us) we had to go to Blockbuster, all bets were off. Inevitably, we wasted nearly an hour wandering around the store, unable to agree on anything, before finally picking something out of desperation that neither of us really wanted to watch. By then we were both so irritated that we'd start arguing about anything petty and pointless on the way home, so that we had no interest in spending time together by the time we finally got there.

And then the heavens opened, and we subscribed to Netflix.

The fighting ended. Happy movie watching ensued, with no late fees.

Over the years, our subscription has changed. We used to get 3-at-a-time unlimited rentals back when we could actually watch three movies in a weekend. Now we're on the 2-at-a-time/4-a-month plan, which might still be too much for our lifestyle -- but one of them is usually a kids' DVD, so it works. Our excessively long queue is still filled with new releases, old classics, quirky independents and those series we missed on TV -- but it's also peppered with Bob the Builder, episode of The Muppet Show and some Herbie movies.

Nice that Netflix can evolve and grow with us -- just like the marriage it helped save.

Simple Gifts

Today's inauguration was amazing. I'm embarrassed to confess it, but I don't think I've ever actually watched one before, except in news clips. Got goosebumps and choked up and all that. Really felt like it was "my" president being sworn in for the first time.

The instrumental performance before the swearing in -- with Perlman and Yo-Yo Ma and the two other people whose names I can't remember -- took my breath away. Composer John Williams worked in "Tis the Gift to Be Simple," which we used in an arrangement for our wedding processional. Seems like the perfect music for a wonderful beginning. If the parallel holds true for my first year of marriage and Obama's first year in office, it won't necessarily be an easy year for him, but it will definitely be worth all the effort.

Every time Junius saw the 44th president on TV today, he would jump up and sing out, in his clearest, most careful voice, "That's President Bar-ack O-bama!" Made me so proud, even though I'm not sure he understands what he's saying.

I just have this feeling that 2009 is going to be a good year. And it will be the simple gifts -- watching Pippi get steady on her feet, listening to Junius sing, having the same home address all year, trusting in our President -- that will make it so.